What was his kamala dream about

Siddhartha saw a group of apes moving through the high canopy of the forest, high in the branches, and heard their savage, greedy song. Siddhartha saw a male sheep following a female one and mating with her. In a lake of reeds, he saw the pike hungrily hunting for its dinner; propelling themselves away from it, in fear, wiggling and sparkling, the young fish jumped in droves out of the water; the scent of strength and passion came forcefully out of the hasty eddies of the water, which the pike stirred up, impetuously hunting.

All of this had always existed, and he had not seen it; he had not been with it. Now he was with it, he was part of it. Light and shadow ran through his eyes, stars and moon ran through his heart. On the way, Siddhartha also remembered everything he had experienced in the Garden Jetavana, the teaching he had heard there, the divine Buddha, the farewell from Govinda, the conversation with the exalted one. Again he remembered his own words, he had spoken to the exalted one, every word, and with astonishment he became aware of the fact that there he had said things which he had not really known yet at this time.

What he had said to Gotama: his, the Buddha's, treasure and secret was not the teachings, but the unexpressable and not teachable, which he had experienced in the hour of his enlightenment—it was nothing but this very thing which he had now gone to experience, what he now began to experience.

Now, he had to experience his self. It is true that he had already known for a long time that his self was Atman, in its essence bearing the same eternal characteristics as Brahman. But never, he had really found this self, because he had wanted to capture it in the net of thought. With the body definitely not being the self, and not the spectacle of the senses, so it also was not the thought, not the rational mind, not the learned wisdom, not the learned ability to draw conclusions and to develop previous thoughts in to new ones.

No, this world of thought was also still on this side, and nothing could be achieved by killing the random self of the senses, if the random self of thoughts and learned knowledge was fattened on the other hand.

Both, the thoughts as well as the senses, were pretty things, the ultimate meaning was hidden behind both of them, both had to be listened to, both had to be played with, both neither had to be scorned nor overestimated, from both the secret voices of the innermost truth had to be attentively perceived. He wanted to strive for nothing, except for what the voice commanded him to strive for, dwell on nothing, except where the voice would advise him to do so.

Why had Gotama, at that time, in the hour of all hours, sat down under the bo-tree, where the enlightenment hit him? He had heard a voice, a voice in his own heart, which had commanded him to seek rest under this tree, and he had neither preferred self-castigation, offerings, ablutions, nor prayer, neither food nor drink, neither sleep nor dream, he had obeyed the voice. To obey like this, not to an external command, only to the voice, to be ready like this, this was good, this was necessary, nothing else was necessary.

In the night when he slept in the straw hut of a ferryman by the river, Siddhartha had a dream: Govinda was standing in front of him, dressed in the yellow robe of an ascetic. Sad was how Govinda looked like, sadly he asked: Why have you forsaken me?

At this, he embraced Govinda, wrapped his arms around him, and as he was pulling him close to his chest and kissed him, it was not Govinda any more, but a woman, and a full breast popped out of the woman's dress, at which Siddhartha lay and drank, sweetly and strongly tasted the milk from this breast.

It tasted of woman and man, of sun and forest, of animal and flower, of every fruit, of every joyful desire. It intoxicated him and rendered him unconscious. When the day began, Siddhartha asked his host, the ferryman, to get him across the river. The ferryman got him across the river on his bamboo-raft, the wide water shimmered reddishly in the light of the morning. Often I have listened to it, often I have looked into its eyes, and always I have learned from it. Much can be learned from a river.

I am a man without a home, a son of a Brahman and a Samana. You will give me the gift another time. This too, I have learned from the river: everything is coming back! You too, Samana, will come back. Now farewell! Let your friendship be my reward. Commemorate me, when you'll make offerings to the gods. Smiling, they parted. Smiling, Siddhartha was happy about the friendship and the kindness of the ferryman.

All are thankful, though they are the ones who would have a right to receive thanks. All are submissive, all would like to be friends, like to obey, think little.

Like children are all people. At about noon, he came through a village. In front of the mud cottages, children were rolling about in the street, were playing with pumpkin-seeds and sea-shells, screamed and wrestled, but they all timidly fled from the unknown Samana. In the end of the village, the path led through a stream, and by the side of the stream, a young woman was kneeling and washing clothes. When Siddhartha greeted her, she lifted her head and looked up to him with a smile, so that he saw the white in her eyes glistening.

He called out a blessing to her, as it is the custom among travellers, and asked how far he still had to go to reach the large city. Then she got up and came to him, beautifully her wet mouth was shimmering in her young face. She exchanged humorous banter with him, asked whether he had eaten already, and whether it was true that the Samanas slept alone in the forest at night and were not allowed to have any women with them.

While talking, she put her left foot on his right one and made a movement as a woman does who would want to initiate that kind of sexual pleasure with a man, which the textbooks call "climbing a tree". Siddhartha felt his blood heating up, and since in this moment he had to think of his dream again, he bend slightly down to the woman and kissed with his lips the brown nipple of her breast.

Looking up, he saw her face smiling full of lust and her eyes, with contracted pupils, begging with desire. Siddhartha also felt desire and felt the source of his sexuality moving; but since he had never touched a woman before, he hesitated for a moment, while his hands were already prepared to reach out for her.

And in this moment he heard, shuddering with awe, the voice of his innermost self, and this voice said No. Then, all charms disappeared from the young woman's smiling face, he no longer saw anything else but the damp glance of a female animal in heat. Politely, he petted her cheek, turned away from her and disappeared away from the disappointed woman with light steps into the bamboo-wood.

On this day, he reached the large city before the evening, and was happy, for he felt the need to be among people. For a long time, he had lived in the forests, and the straw hut of the ferryman, in which he had slept that night, had been the first roof for a long time he has had over his head.

Before the city, in a beautifully fenced grove, the traveller came across a small group of servants, both male and female, carrying baskets. In their midst, carried by four servants in an ornamental sedan-chair, sat a woman, the mistress, on red pillows under a colourful canopy.

Siddhartha stopped at the entrance to the pleasure-garden and watched the parade, saw the servants, the maids, the baskets, saw the sedan-chair and saw the lady in it. Under black hair, which made to tower high on her head, he saw a very fair, very delicate, very smart face, a brightly red mouth, like a freshly cracked fig, eyebrows which were well tended and painted in a high arch, smart and watchful dark eyes, a clear, tall neck rising from a green and golden garment, resting fair hands, long and thin, with wide golden bracelets over the wrists.

Siddhartha saw how beautiful she was, and his heart rejoiced. He bowed deeply, when the sedan-chair came closer, and straightening up again, he looked at the fair, charming face, read for a moment in the smart eyes with the high arcs above, breathed in a slight fragrant, he did not know.

With a smile, the beautiful women nodded for a moment and disappeared into the grove, and then the servant as well. Thus I am entering this city, Siddhartha thought, with a charming omen. He instantly felt drawn into the grove, but he thought about it, and only now he became aware of how the servants and maids had looked at him at the entrance, how despicable, how distrustful, how rejecting. I am still a Samana, he thought, I am still an ascetic and beggar. I must not remain like this, I will not be able to enter the grove like this.

And he laughed. The next person who came along this path he asked about the grove and for the name of the woman, and was told that this was the grove of Kamala, the famous courtesan, and that, aside from the grove, she owned a house in the city. Page Number and Citation : 51 Cite this Quote. Explanation and Analysis:. The colored dots and icons indicate which themes are associated with that appearance. Part Two, Chapter 5 — Kamala. Instead, he goes into the town and learns the name of the woman.

She is Kamala , a courtesan. Siddhartha has a new goal. Kamala laughs. She has never had a samana come to her before, though she has received Siddhartha next asks Kamala why she is not afraid of a rough samana entering her house. She says she Kamala suggests using his skills and receiving The next day, Siddhartha visits Kamala in her town house and she informs him that things are already looking up for Kamala reminds Siddhartha that he has her to thank for his good fortune too.

Siddhartha replies But Siddhartha keeps learning the art of love from Kamala , and her friendship warms him. She seems more akin to him than Govinda. Siddhartha one They play love games — fighting and tricking each other in a battle-like display. Kamala admits that Siddhartha is the best lover she has known and that she wishes to Part Two, Chapter 7 — Samsara.

One night, Siddhartha spends the evening with Kamala and she asks all about the Buddha and wishes one day to take refuge in When Siddhartha goes over to the bird in the He leaves the town. Kamala has inspired him to speak these beautiful words, and she thanks him by kissing him with lips that are "like a freshly cut fig. He is like a child experiencing everything for the first time. He says that his only skills are "thinking, waiting, and fasting," all taught by the Samanas.

Kamala is also pleased to learn that he can read and write, since this is a great skill to have, and asks him to return the next day. Although Siddhartha is hungry, he realizes that he shall no longer beg for food since he is no longer a Samana or a follower of Buddha. He gives the rice cake someone has given him to a dog, and he sleeps without eating anything. An increasing pride and self-worth begins to excites him, and he talks more to the people and makes friends easily.

Returning to Kamala the next day, Siddhartha learns that she has found him a job using his reading and writing skills. He will work for a rich merchant named Kamaswami , and Kamala advises Siddhartha how to act towards him.

Siddhartha is overjoyed while Kamala marvels at how soon he is rising up in the world from a beggar to becoming her lover; he now just has to obtain money from his new job. The two flirt with one another some more, and she asks him where he would be without her help. Siddhartha replies arrogantly that he had never doubted that she would have helped him, for he simply knew that she would. Words come readily from his mouth, which had been so silent and thoughtful before.

He says only that he "is drawn by his goal, for he does not allow anything to enter his mind which opposes his goal.

That is what Siddhartha learned from the Samanas. It is what fools call magic and what they think is caused by demons He is self-motivated, seeking to satisfy the inner desires of his Self and of his body rather than ignoring them. Siddhartha now wishes to further his own interest since he disdains the subservience and hospitality of such people as Govinda and the ferryman. He becomes selfish for the first time.

Before leaving Kamala again, he blesses her for being his teacher and hopes that "good fortune may always come to me from you. The two separate for the day as Siddhartha prepares to visit Kamaswami. Browse all BookRags Book Notes. Copyrights Siddhartha from BookRags. All rights reserved. Toggle navigation. Sign Up. Sign In. Get Siddhartha from Amazon.

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